i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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