Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
