Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
