You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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