Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize