How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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