so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
