I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
