I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize