after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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