Cold hands, warm shart.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize