I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
