Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
