her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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