Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You ate ashes out of my bong
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
