I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
