Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize