i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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