best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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