come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
