my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
