it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
