I puked a lego.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
