He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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