She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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