Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have demons in me.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Houston, we have a squirter
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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