I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
