So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
