Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
