We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
