"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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