Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
