did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
