Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
