You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
