I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
