I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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