your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
