Since when is my name a synonym for head?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
