he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
