I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
