my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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