We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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