You're my little dorito
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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