We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
