I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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