Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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