In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
