Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
