i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
