so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
