Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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