If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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