Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
