He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
