if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
