And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
