dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
