A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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