Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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