Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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