How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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