you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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