Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
