yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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