We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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