Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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