found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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