is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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