well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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