im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You're like the curious george of whores
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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