wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize