so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
