In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize