Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
