thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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