What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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