party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
