he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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