Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
