I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you bring me the toilet please
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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