She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
