I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize