ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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