Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they call him Oral-B. enough said
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
