...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
