Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
