We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
