Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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