Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
